January 18, 2008 at 9:22 pm (god, nature, pain, people)



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No More “Religion”

January 8, 2008 at 7:30 pm (god, jesus, life, love, pain, people, poor, thoughts)

Quite honestly, I am very sick of so-called religion.

I feel like the church today is like an ostrich with it’s head stuck in the freaking sand. They simply just cannot seem to figure out what it means to follow Jesus. I’m just really disgusted with what people have made the word christianity out to be. You can’t say that you are a Christian out in public without having to defend and hopelessly justify every aspect of it. There is something sickeningly wrong with religion today and we all should be doing something to set that right. Instead of money, hypocrisy, lattes, and congregation numbers shouldn’t we be focusing on love and forgiveness? Compassion and mercy?

Love is the movement.

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Musical Audtions…

December 10, 2007 at 7:26 pm (awkward, life, music, oops, pain, shows)

….were terrible.

Today was the singing portion. I have practiced SO much, perhaps TOO much. When I got up there I totally geeked out, forgot the words and messed up the notes. AND I didnt do the acting I was going to.

To top it all off I did it right in front of all the best singers in the district, whom I wanted to prove to that, just because I’m not in their level choir that I’m still capable of music. There goes that. =(

I’m pretty upset.

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November 8, 2007 at 12:04 am (god, jesus, life, pain, questions, thoughts)

I have this problem. I always try to figure out God. I always try to understand why He does the things He does… but then He goes and shows me that there is absolutely NO way that I ever will.

It is SO incredibly hard sometimes to comprehend that everything will somehow figure in to His marvelous plan. Realizing that beauty can come from pain is hard to accept when the pain is so real and alive. This quote from Don puts things in a bit of a better light.

“It comforts me to think that if we are created beings, the thing that created us would have to be greater, so much greater, in fact, that we would not be able to understand it. It would have to be greater than the facts of our reality, and so it would seem to us, looking out from within our reality, that it would contradict reason. But reason itself would suggest it would have to be greater than reality, or it would not be reasonable.”

So, I guess, ((now I have so much running through my head right now my thoughts may not be comprehensible)) that in order for God to even make any sense at all to us, then it would only make sense for Him to make no sense.

But still it’s hard not to ask why.

Proverbs 16:9
We plan the way we want to live, but only God makes us able to live it.

The Message.

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Babysitter’s worst nightmare.

October 31, 2007 at 3:00 pm (kids, oops, pain)


Eeeeh.  I don’t even have anything to say about this one.


Thanks Los.

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Just Kidding.

October 9, 2007 at 10:24 am (life, pain)

Well I went back to the ER last night. They had told me that the pain would go away the next day because my body would fix itself. Well… it didn’t. After a popped vein, an IV in the back of my hand, blood drawn from my other arm and the back of my other arm, a very large amount of kool-aid with some fishy medical stuff in it, a CT scan, and some hot dye injected into my body ((quite a strange feeling)), they found that in fact, it never ruptured… i still have a 3cm sist on my ovary. Yipee! How exciting, right? Well they told me that I’ll have this crazy pain for another few weeks and then it should start to die off on its own. If it doesn’t then i have to get surgery but that’s really rare. Until then they gave me vicatin… sheesh. Thank you to all of you that were praying for me last night. You’re all amazing.

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I’m Out.

October 6, 2007 at 1:58 am (pain)

I just got home from the emergency room. Apparently I ruptured an ovarian sist or something like that. ((at least they’re 90% sure it’s that and not appendicitis)) Basically what they told me was that it’s nothing too serious, it happens pretty commonly among teen girls… it just hurts like #$()*#$@)@&%)@ldfjasdli#409#*$%. so yeah.

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